1 year

I'm so late and so behind on keeping up. Maybe its that I'm working and getting busier, maybe its that I have a full blown walking machine on my hands or maybe I'm just finding something to blame. :)

Goodness where to start...

Quick checklist first:

Madisons first steps were around 11 months (now this is free standing no walker steps)usally 3-5 before plopping down. :)
She began full blown walking at 1 and at 12.5 months has pretty much got it down pat
She signs or speaks: hungry, more, all done, dog, mooo (for what the cow says), this, thank you, tickle, brush your teeth
she blows kisses
she waves hi and bye (cute princess royalty wave)
she does touchdown
she dances (booty bounce and hip shake)
she brushes her teeth (after telling you she wants to and showing you were it is)
She will go show whatever she has to whomever you tell her to show. As long as its daddy, papa, nana or mommy.
She will go get minnie, mickey or cookie monster if you ask her "where is.."
We pat pat pat and kick kick kick and tickle tickle tickle..our car routine mixed with a touchdown here and there. :)
she hates milk in a sippy cup and now prefers more nursing
she walks laps and laps and laps and laps and laps and laps..this means we are now down to one small leg roll and its sad!
She zerberts mommy and giggles
she still plays tricks on us
goodness she adds new great things all the time I'm sure I've missed some.

Her favorite things to do are dance, push the button, brush her teeth, be outside, and look at Nana's picture book.

she eats whatever but LOVES: Snack n go applesauce, fruit (by the pound), peas, wheat waffles, pancakes and eggs.

She is anything Minnie Mouse (or Mickey). She can spot minnie from across a crowded room and LOVES LOVES LOVES anything with Minnie on it. Mommy got her first "your so cool" look when I surprised her with my minnie mouse pj pants. She will be minnie for halloween and I think it'll be a minnie christmas this year! :)

Nothing but joy these days. Watching her walk around and dress more and more like a little girl make me sad but its so awesome I can't help but love it.

We also got to view Madison's magazine debut as a baby model. Super cute. She was in Gurgle and the baby model for Tiny Turnip's baby sock product. Pretty cool.

I'll try to update some pictures and videos soon!




laughter is abundant from this sweet little girl

All Things Madison (past due update)

I'm so behind, this working mom thing is for someone else...LOL! I can't do it all, but I'm magically scrapping by each day.

My sweet little Madison is growing up way to fast she's trying to walk and enjoys a few steps while you hold her hands and eats like a toddler. Crazy.

Here are some of the things we've been doing:
Cruising on furniture
Standing for about 6 weeks now
swimming lessons and TONS of pool time
dancing to all types of music, especially the hot dog song, signing times, country and oddly enough, latin dance music. :) She does this adorable booty bounce hop thing....if she were 16 I'd be worried (following in mommy's dancing steps too closely).

She definitely knows "Ahah" and "No ma'am". Even after she's been told if she goes to do it she shakes her head no acknowleding she's not supposed to put dog food in her mouth or eat daddy's shoes. If you say No Ma'am she shakes her head No..so smart!

She loves egg noodles,croissants, avocado, ravioli, mac n cheese, blueberries, bananas and she is a yogurt SNOB! If we pull out the yogurt tub to feed her after some other food she won't eat the other food, just the yogurt. We have to leave the tub in the fridge so that she doesn't know and then bring it out later. Again, little smarty pants.

Madison has always been one that knows exactly what it is she wants and won't just take anything. Even when picking out toys at the store. If she points to an array of items and you hand her one if its not right she will shake her head no or push it away. If its the right one she smiles and grabs it with love. She is the same way with everything and I think its wonderful. It will be hard when she's 2 and I don't buy the princess doll she really wants, but in the words of my mother..its better to have now than not at all. (sorry daddy :)

Madison is a little jokester. And she cracks herself up when playing her joke on me and daddy. Its so funny. For example: After we put on her diaper she will start to roll herself over while we try to put on her pants and she gets half way and just giggles and giggles and flops back on her back. Its funny to us cause she gets this cute mischevious look on her face before she does it. She gets the same look when she's hiding food in her chair instead of eating it. So funny. I'm in for some great laughs in the future and I can't wait.

Zeus still doesn't understand why Madison doesn't throw the rope when he drops it in her lap. :) Sweet Zeus..he knocked Madison over the other morning on accident and immediately went into his crate. Such a good boy. She wasn't hurt and didn't cry so he wasn't in trouble but its great that he knew even though he didn't mean to, that it wasn't ok.

Our little Madison is creeping up on 1 year and the party planning has been in the works, but I have yet to pull the trigger on anything...GOTTA GET TO WORKING..it'll be here tomorrow! Can't believe it!

Madison, thanks for being the happiest, gigglinest, sweetest baby EVER!

Zillow dreams

I like to play on Zillow to keep up with prices of not only our place but of homes in the area and of course back home in TN.

Its shocking to me how little you get out here in CA. We could have this amazing property in Franklin, TN (its actually in the Leipers Fork area where the country music stars live). Franklin is the "money" area of Nashville and a great little town with great schools. Yet still there are great finds like this

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1207-Montpier-Dr-Franklin-TN-37069/42622527_zpid/#{scid=hdp-site-map-bubble-address}

To find something of this size, with land and a large pool it would cost you millions in CA..not $319,000. Had to share cause its so totally shocking. AND there isn't any property tax in TN. Crazy huh! Add 50,000 to this and the availability of some amazing homes creeping up on 4,000sq ft with land and a pool are available everywhere. Wanna live on the lake..ok that will be 350,000 please.

Nashville has its share of expensive homes in all areas but there are so many more amazing finds available.

And everyone wonders why I still wanna live there. LOL! A girl can dream right!

Madison's Best Friend

Zeus...Madison's new favorite buddy. She crawls on him, pounds on him, slaps him, pulls him and is always trying to be next to him. Its so sweet. He just sits there and lets her do whatever..even take his bone away from him.

Its so sweet to see my BIG baby boy love his new lil sister so much.

He really has been attached to her since we brought her home. It started with guarding the door no matter what room we were in, or sitting next to her and guarding her from Renegade. Its been really great cause we were worried before she got here cause he's such an attention needing pup.

I have a few videos of this cute activity but can't get them to play on my computer. :( So they will live on my phone for a while, maybe I can share another time.

So happy our sweet kids love each other so much.

Madison is....

A Crawling Machine
Couch, Chair, Mini Table Cruiser (wobbly walk while holding on)
Pull up on everything to stand
A Giggle Box
Constantly Smiling
not a daycare fan (she just loves her family!)
6 teeth and more coming any day
still getting the "cutest baby ever" from a stranger at least twice a day
so funny
so smart
9 months old (plus a bit, I'm late)
20lbs (give or take a half pound)
28.5 inches long
just wonderful!

Angels Among Us

There are times and events in which we are blessed to find ourselves in the presence of angels on earth. Many of us find that these angels come to us at different points..some are friendships that happen too fast, some are strangers that act in a way that makes you feel you've known them forever, and some come when you least expect.

I have been blessed with many angels on my path. Friends that I feel even though we are apart right now my life is so much better having met them, shared life with them and that they are gracious enough to put up with my craziness and let me hang around. To my girls and guys I love you so much and thanks for everything.

Upon finding (again) and marrying my soulmate, Jeff I not only found my life long partner but was blessed with a angel..a true gift from god in my life..his mother Sue. After losing my mom there has been a true void in my soul that I have tried to fill with many things and none of them quite fit like Sue.

Its funny cause mother in laws don't have the best reputation out there in the world and I'm sure there are some crazies, boy the movie industry sure can show ya. Not mine. She is the best example of how mother in laws should be, she's an amazing example of what a mom should be and she's the perfect grandma. I'd write a list of all the great things she is but my girlfriends have said it for me, "Wow Jamie...That Sue is simply amazing, you are one lucky girl." This is after spending only a day with her. And they are absolutely right..I am one lucky girl.

Here's to all your wonderful Angels on this earth...give them a note to tell them just how special they are, they might need to hear it. Love you all!

7 months of cuteness

Madison has done some amazing things in her first 7 months and many of them early. No matter when it happens its all so darn cute!!

Her most recent accomplishments include:

sitting
clapping, even on demand
saying: "dada", "baba", "ma", "gg", "d", "good" and any combination of those
playing peek a boo. This is a family favorite, she will pull up her blanket or toy or whatever is around her and cover her eyes then put it down real fast and look at you...expecting "peek-a-boo". She loves it!!
she's a sippy cup pro
she does a full arm stretch when she wants you to hold her. Nana is actually the only one that has gotten a full arm stretch, mommy and daddy get more of a chicken arm lift (elbows up). :)
and..drum roll....a few weeks ago she started to CRAWL! yep only two or three solid steps at a time before shes onto the tummy, but she's getting better and better.

She is starting this really cute thing where she turns her head all the way to the side to look at you...its too funny. Madison has become a social butterfly and outings, trips and visits are such a joy now. She is becoming quite the little well behaved girl.....hoping this lasts (until she's 3 that is, then I'll just keep her home hahaha). :)

Failing Miserably

1. Getting to daycare and realizing the diaper bag and milk are still on the bar stool
2. repeat number 1
3. go shopping with daddy and we BOTH leave the diaper bag at home..luckily we didn't need it
4. Miscalculating how much M is overeating at daycare (or how much they are overfeeding her)..resulting in stress on mommy every day as to whether or not she has enough.
5. not refilling diaper bag with diapers.
6. not replacing outfit at daycare to fit her growing size
7. no socks..yep NO socks for M. (this really isn't my fault..none of them fit her right now)
8. leaving home without pacifiers (luckily M is not big with pacifiers, but they do help sometimes)


Sincerely -

Your failing miserably super mom! :)

How to be a Super Mom

Is there a book??? If so I need to read it.

The emotional side of putting Madison in daycare is enough to dry up all your smiles. Then there's the dogs home alone all day. They are like our kids too, poor babies. Madison cries most of the day to cope. Zeus pouts and clings to my every location when I am home. Renegade..well...she's crazy all the time so I dont' think its made much of an impact on her. :) she makes me laugh atleast.

I feel like there is so much I have to do right now like:

build up my tolerance by talking to myself about how good of a day she is going to have on the way to drop her off so I don't cry
put a big ole fake smile on all day pretending I really want to be at work instead of with Madison
it takes a TON of effort to concentrate on my job and not stress over Madison
Get home and not be irritated with Zeus and Renegade if they are uber hyper
Get home and get everything packed for the next day mentally
finish emails
smile for Jeff
stay up past 9 to spend time with Jeff
pump, pump and pump to feed my child


to get out of the house there is:
my lunch
Madisons milk
Madisons extra clothes
Madisons diaper bag
my pump
containers and freezer for milk
oh laptop, mobile office stuff, calendar, phone personal and phone work


Then oops did I do the bills..or did I not do the bills. I can't remember.
Then the does Madison need more diapers or wipes at daycare and the OMG I have NO CLOTHES FOR WORK.

And right now I'm just living the easy life training..wait til its actually my territory and I have to make it happen all on my own and the reports on top of reports we have to send end.

All while never letting Madison know its stressful, all while smiling. No matter how tired or how much I want to sleep I get to spend time with an amazing little girl that just lights up my world.

I have a great support in Jeff. I would crash and burn without him. i have no idea how single parents do it, I can barely do it and feel on the brink of insanity with help. I also have a great family to lean on in time of need.

Maybe I should figure it out and write my own book. :) HAHA!

I wear my sunglasses....

in daycare
on cloudy days leaving daycare
in Buy Buy Baby stocking up from leaving supplies at daycare

Thank heavens for sunglasses to hide these watery eyes.


Poor Madison crying when we get to daycare and crying when I pick her up has my eyes watering something fierce and my soul feeling like its being slowly put into a shredder. The last 2 days were better for me I think neither of us sleeping much last night has worn me down to an emotional nub of a person today but lets hope the luck of the Irish comes our way and we find our pot of gold to be filled with smiles and comfort.

6 months and counting

WOW so much has happened in the last few weeks, this is going to be one long update instead of a ton of little ones but many things happened recently.... including MADISON CELEBRATING HER 1/2 YEAR BIRTHDAY!!! WHOOHOO!!!!

With amazing teamwork Madison and I made the 6 month mark of strictly breastfeeding. I had a great partner, it was easy for us. When I got pregnant and researched the tummy, solid food and the tummy, breastmilk benefits and put all that into the mix with Jeff's family history of uneasy tummies I decided to do 6 months all breastmilk and WE DID IT!!! Many moms start rice cereal or soupy solids at 3-4 months, many give up breastfeeding and go to formula within weeks of giving birth...all moms do it different based on what is best for their babies, this was my goal for my girl and I'm stoked we did it with flying colors!!!

So far M has had green beans, not her favorite, sweet potatoes, they are ok, and one round of rice cereal on her birthday..she HATED it. If she were older I'm sure she'd say "WHAT!?! I got all psyched about my birthday dinner and I get THIS CRAP!" So glad we didn't hear that, but the look says it all. Experimenting with foods and mixing them up for different flavors is all new and exciting. She will love it soon and so will we. :)



















Madison made her first trip to Las Vegas to meet her Auntie Alyssa who was out visiting Sin City for a convention. First and foremost THANK YOU BRITAX!! Madisons new car seat is her buddy and our saving grace for car rides. WOW what a difference. She slept almost the entire way there and back. The day we bought it..we put it in the car in the parking lot of the store, drove across the street and within minutes she was out for the count and slept for 1.5 hours..this momma was AMAZED! Back to the trip...we arrived at the hotel unpacked and daddy left for the strip. M and I hung out and ordered mommy some room service..BAD IDEA. I ended up with food poisoning that had me up all night and vomiting the next morning but daddy was there to help with M. We just didn't get out and about like we wanted to or get a long lunch visit with Alyssa. :(! NOTE: Don't eat room service at Hilton Garden Inn unless its the one Jeff works at ...cause well...he washes his hands when he cooks the food. :) I am forever scared of their meals. We checked out at noon. Oh can't forget to mention daddy placed 3rd in a poker tournament. After leaving the hotel on a beautiful day we stopped with M at the famous Welcome to Las Vegas sign for a photo op and then off to the convention center to meet with Alyssa. Boy how I miss her, shes such a joy to be around. Her smile and spirit are so warm..M lit up upon meeting her and I'm sure can't wait to play with Alyssa again. I know I can't wait to see her again, next time it has to be longer! Jeff and I did one more stop on our way out of town to visit Randal a friend from UCC tallahassee where we all started on our journey and where Jeff and I first met. It was nice to catch up and talk about the old days. Then we hit the road back home and boy was I ready to be in my own bed.


















MORE NEWS:

A week before Madison's 6 month check up and birthday we had an eye scare. She woke up in a tizzy and wouldn't stop crying the only thing that calmed her down was daddy or I singing to her and then she'd go back to sleep. She slept well into 9am in my arms. She woke up with a smile but wouldn't open her eye, then her eye began to swell and she was all splotchy (from the crying though..at the time i wasn't so sure). We went off to the Dr...she had scratched her cornea and needed a patch for the night. She slept most of the day and at about 5pm seemed to be her normal self. The next day we went to the dr and all was fine.

I just knew M was going to get over the 20lb mark at her 6 mo check up but nope..she was 19lbs and 27 1/2 inches long. Dr said she's right on track with her personal growth chart so we are doing good!! YAY Madison! She wants nothing to do with sitting up unsupported, and I want that sooo badly. The Dr said some kids realize at such a young age that they are more mobile on their tummies and they want to get around...she also said these babies crawl fast. Well so much for sitting her in one spot, she wants nothing to do with that. We have an adventurer on our hands, guess some things are genetic. She LOVES the baby pushup position and will hold and hold and repeat repeat. Its so cute. OH AND SHE HAS TWO PEARLY WHITES!!















We are so lucky, the last 6 months have been AMAZING! Her smile lights up our souls and her personality is just so wonderful. We couldn't be two happier or luckier parents. Each day we get one more funny face, one more giggle that cracks us up or one more action that just has us rolling. She really is the funniest little infant and I hope that stays cause its fantastic.

Potluck

So things went well at my job interview and unless something changes I'm pretty sure I got the job. They even told me to plan on being at the general sales meeting Monday and to train Thursday and Friday. I put no faith in these words and will await the official call of rejection/offer sometime Friday.

The best description my little head could come up with for my mental and emotional feelings on going back to work is Potluck. A potluck has different types of food...some do not mix well with others, some are a perfect match...this is exactly what my emotions are. Some fit perfect with our family needs and my inner career driven self, others throw that mix right out the window and instill uneasiness, sadness, and fear as a new mom letting the daycare system raise my child 8-10 hrs a day 5 days a week.

Its the turmoil today of not knowing if I'll be back at work Monday or not, its the OMG Madison will be in daycare for 6 hrs Monday, its the what if my career groove is gone, its the what if I didn't get it and now its on to sending out resume number 226in hopes for interview number 5 and offer number 2 (yes the ratio is crap).

Madison gets a free run at daycare today while mommy sits in the directors office staring at the monitors in hopes of a better memory than day 1 with nanny #1. That memory is awful and I will be a stressed mess if I go to work Monday with that vision in my head. :(

For our families sake lets hope I got it.
For my mental health sake, lets hope Madison does well at daycare today.

Hopefully my potluck of emotions with become a themed one and start to mix well together.

First Food

Madison turned 6 months and in celebration received rice cereal for dinner...she was not pleased. :) Maybe green beans would have been better but we try those tomorrow night. Her favorite part of the night was playing with the Unbelievabowl base. Oh and her spoon that had nothing on it. It wasn't super messy cause she does a good job of taking it in instead of pushing it out, but as we go we will see if that continues.

Here a few classic first food face pictures!!

Finger Bling

Here's my unwanted finger bling that I'm wearing post latching my finger in the car door. UGH!

























You can't really tell how swollen it is, but it is I promise.

Southern Fried

I was a GRIT. A GIRL RAISED IN THE SOUTH!

Steak and potatoes with backyard veggies made for a good healthy raising, not veggie burgers and tofu salad.

The 30 minute drive to town was garnished with trees and wildlife, not brake lights and horns

Your backyard was yours (all 3+ acres of it), no one could just peak over the fence or out the window and see what was going on

You visited your neighbors instead of saying hi in the driveways

Thank you notes. PERIOD.

Grits, fried okra and sweet tea could be ordered almost anywhere

Everyone is a Ma'am or a Sir and its all in the form of respect

Manners, Manners, Manners. PERIOD.

There are so many great things that come from being a Southern Fried kid and I hope to instill as much of that as possible with sweet Madison.

Happy 36th Sissy!

It would have been your 36th birthday! HAHAHA! Oh goodness how we celebrated the number 36, something I plan to do as well. My daughter will be just as confused as I was about the age of our moms.

You are probably very upset with me for shedding tears today, but today through the next 2 weeks are and have always been pretty rough for me. I try not to remember the end, your last birthday or the day you left your giant shoe collection to me (btw my feet aren't as small as yours). :) I always try to remember your glow, your smile that lit up rooms and how you always had everyone in tears of laughter after a huge meal of course. :) But sometimes remembering makes it harder not to cry, especially holding your granddaughter. But luckily her smile lights up a room too and she constantly has us in rolls of laughter so I beleive naming her Madison Olivia was perfect.

The one question that lingers in my mind is "What would you have wanted to be called?" Grandma - definitely not, Sissy - thats for me, Gigi - thats for great grandma, so there inlies my dilemma. I have no idea what to tell Madison to call you. Maybe we can say Meme..I had a meme and its less grandma-ish, something you would definitely have preferred at the ripe old age of 36. We will have to see.

And what in the world would we have done if you were still her on earth celebrating your 36th birthday and here I come creeping up on 36. We can't both keep having 36th birthdays...one of us would have to move on. And if you were here it would be me moving on...thats just how it worked. :)

I love you Sissy! Thanks for brightening the world with your smile, thanks for showing me what it is to be a good mom, thanks for the laughter, thanks for the yummy banana pudding and thanks for being so loving to everyone around you. Your raising molded me into the person I am and I thank you for that every day.

Happy Birthday Sissy! I love you all the grains of sand in the world!

"Aunts and Cousins"

Madison has an ever growing family of "Aunts" and "Cousins" all over the states. No these are not true family, but they may become her family as she grows older. Today was a day of baby joy and laughter with Madison, Peyton and Nya. These three little angels were just peas in our pods when us mommy's met. Oh the stories we told then were about kicking and the conversations revolved around "Where are you going to deliver?" and "Are you having an epidural?" WOW how fast things change. From our uncomfortable big bellies came 3 absolute angels.

Madison and Peyton share the same birthday...Justine, aka Peytons mommy, was actually going to visit Jamie and soon to arrive baby Madison when...UH OH..she had to drive herself to the emergency room and SURPRISE SURPRISE.. Madison is only about 45 minutes older. Isn't it crazy how things work out. Mommy Justine and Mommy Jamie were texting their crazy stories to each other like teenagers the next day. Oh the joys of babies.

Shuntay, aka Nya's mommy, was a few weeks behind Justine and Jamie.But you would never know it today. Nya sure acted all grown up like the other girls. :)

Here are some pics from the first of many play dates with these joyous little angels. I'm calling it the baby board meeting.

Pre-meeting handshake...




Board meeting discussions



Meeting adjourned

Character

"Men, sit down and ask your wives to point out things in your character that you can improve on. Then sit and listen as she goes on and on (laughter consumes all), seriously...do this and don't get defensive." ..."Ladies, you too."

This was something our pastor asked us all to do as a church today. As much as this may seem like a good idea, I disagree. I think there are always things about someone that you wish to make better and maybe over time those things do become better because as a married couple you sharpen each other and help each other grow into better people. Attacking or pointing out flaws in ones character (just to do it)doesn't seem to be the way to go. Not to me anyway.

You marry someone that you love, that helps you be better, someone you enjoy silent time with as well as family, laughter, etc. You also marry someone that has flaws, you know what they are before you even get to that part of the relationship and if you can't handle the flaws then you leave, its not going to work.

So Jeff and I start discussing this on the way home and it made me realize that I'm not so sure searching your brain to nitpick your partner in life's character is a good thing.

Maybe its because I'm way to honest in that I always tend to say what I think and feel at the moment it needs to be said or the moment I feel it, so if there is anything about Jeff that I see as an imperfection, he knows it already, no need to point it out again. :)

I'd have to say we can all sit around and nitpick each other, but why not sit around and do the opposite...that makes for a much better night and no one looks back with irritation or that "I wish I hadn't said that" feeling.

Cheers to character flaws and imperfections.

My Gym

Madison and I went to check out My Gym yesterday. What fun we had!

We sang and danced and stretched and massaged and worked on balance and did story time with puppets and played in swings...she LOVES the swings.

For showing up we get the next month free!! VERY COOL! We had a blast and can't wait til next week.

There were babies that had been coming since they were itty bitty and are now only 2.5 - 3 months old and WOW they were right there with Madison rolling over and pushing up...I was impressed. Madison has been rolling over and getting "atta" girls on her overacheiving since her first 4 week checkup with the PED so I'm happy happy...at the beginning the PED said WOW she is strong, she's gonna be moving fast on her baby checklist and she hasn't disappointed yet! It was nice to see the progress at such a young age for these other little babies, that they do learn and grow with these classes. :)

So we went to the park by our house when the sun wasn't so bright and went on the real swings which are WAY too big for her but she was safe and loved it anyway!

Jumping Tree Trunks

New Years Resolution Update

The last two days were days where keeping my resolution of smiling contagiously was hard to do. Determination got me through the first day cause Jeff had a rough day too so I kept my smile on for him, the second day was really tough but we did smile and laugh a few times at night with Madison. The resolution was not broken but I could've done better at staying a bit more positive and not letting the day care, news I am not even getting an interview for the job that was PERFECT and granny situations pull me down.

Here's to a much brighter day!! I've already ran, worked out and am enjoying a wonderful cup of coffee at home with my sweetie pie and hubby. Here's to a fantabulous day of positive news, smiles and laughter..CHEERS!

Day Care Drama Part 2

Did I mention the ratio in California is 4 to 1. ROUGH!! I closed my eyes and imagined having 4 Madison's to care for and I realized that it would be nearly impossible to care for each of them properly all at the same time. You must have some sort of special power in you to manage 4 infants at one time, that is NUTS!

Madison did all the work at the day care facilities cause momma needed help. :)

Since hunting day care is such serious business she was so worn out..she slept for 3 plus hours on her tummy time mat...yes on the floor, no music, no patting, just WORN OUT!

Daycare Drama...

WARNING! This will not be clever, funny or sweet. Just pouring out some thoughts.

Today we interviewed daycare facilities or "child care learning facilities". They weren't awful, they weren't great, they were ok. I liked one better than the other and luckily daddy got to see that one with us. Madison was great, she really had her game face on today. Smiles galore, stories were abundant and then she calmingly went to sleep on daddy while we were doing final discussions and just chatting about being pregnant, etc.

During the first facility I cried. During the second facility I wanted to just turn and walk away. This is all just a bit overwhelming. No one tells you about this drama you must endure at some point if you are going to be a working mom. No one tells you that you will feel like your soul is being pulled from your heart when thinking about someone else watching your child take their first step or sit up on their own unassisted and you missed it. UGH..I can't even type without tears. I think deplorable might be a good descriptive, cause it is unfortunate.

Talking with girlfriends just makes it that much more evident that tears will be abundant and I will "LOSE IT FOR WEEKS." Awesome!

One girlfriend walked in, lost it and her husband said...we will just eat bologna its ok. haha!

The other decided to go back to grad school onlineat night just to keep from having to put her child in day care. Too funny! Well atleast she is knocking out two birds with one stone.

I guess I feel now what Jeff might feel later (when boys are coming around). That no one is good enough for my daughter. That no one can possibly care for her as much as I do and that my world will collapse if anything should happen to her in someone elses care.

I've cried, stressed, felt nauseated and gross all day. If Jeff hadn't of shown up at Tutor Time today I think I might have never made through the front doors. I have never been more uncomfortable in my life. It was a VERY tough day for this momma.

Cheers to more of those kind of days coming our way. :(

Madison is

1. 4.5 months old
2. a drool machine
3. a 24/7 smiling queen
4. my little bugger boo
5. my little sugar pie
6. her daddies snuggle bug
7. a rolling pin (over and over she goes)
8. a bum shuffler..forward motion..head on ground, butt in the air and PUSH
9. a people person
10. finally falling asleep on her back ON HER OWN!
11. growing by leaps and bounds
12. gassy a lot
13. a precious little angel
14. a master at hand to mouth coordination, no matter wants in her hand
15. loving her high chair
16. dominate with her left hand
17. a chubby monkey
18. a blue eyed beauty
19. an all night sleeper, sometimes
20. the light of my life

The Heebie Jeebies

I'm finding that my trust in the daycare establishments or the at home care facilities is very very low. Just researching them online makes my insides churn. I'll be visiting them soon, meeting with the facilities owners and some folks I've met through church, this is inevitable.

I know deep down everything will be ok and that other kids go to daycare from 6 weeks old on through Pre-k and they are there full time M-F 7am to close. UGH NO WAY could I do this. I would have to find a nanny here at the house or a really good friend that I trust more than a packed day care facility. I don't know. All this is just so damn scary!

We are very lucky that I will need only part time care as of now and we have Nana and Papa who are so wonderful to let us bring her over on those random work days I get right now. Thank the lord Jeff has wonderful parents that are involved in Madison's world. I don't know what I have done some of those days when she was much younger and I REALLY wasn't going to put my child in someone's hands (except close family and Jeff's of course).

Tears fill my eyes as I type and think about how uncomfortable it all makes me but this is only one major step I must overcome as a new mom to create fulfillment in her life as well as that of the entire family.

Baby steps, trust my gut (its always right), and put it in gods hands that she will be loved and safe....knowing it will all be ok if I follow these guidelines, I still get the Heebie Jeebies thinking about it.

Passed out Princess

So today I put Madison in the crib cause holding and patting her wasn't helping. I layed her down and turned on her new 2 in 1 projection mobile with the music and the projection. She likes it so it usually stimulates her enough to make her tired so I thought just give it a few minutes and then pick her up and try again.

SURPRISE!!! I look over and she's sound asleep. YIPPEE! YAY! she's flat on her back and PASSED OUT! Such a great feeling!!

Wii

Jeff was surprised with a Wii from me for Christmas. Then he got the wii fit from his brother Joe and Rosalie. VERY COOL!!

Jeff and I are very competitive so we have a lot of fun with this. So in addition to the gym we are doing wii fit regularly. Its great cause not always with his schedule can he make it to the gym or let me go. And some of the exercises really get you working up a sweat and you have a blast doing it!

After almost a week out of the gym I went back yesterday for a brief run and some weights. Ran an 11 min mile even after walking the first part to get my knee ready (which has been causing me MUCH pain lately) and a good leg workout.

The statement "Babe, your legs are skinny and your butt is getting smaller." is the perfect statement to get me motivated. Thanks babe you know me well. I am proud of my musculare legs and my bubble butt...they took years to get and tons of work to maintain. So here we go again! :)

We've both dropped a couple pounds without even really trying..very cool!

Here's to a verwii fit year.

Proud

So proud of my big girl. She is doing great with the crib sleeps. She is taking almost all of her naps in her crib, unfortunately these naps are much shorter than if she was on mommy but it just means she takes a few more right now and is a lot crankier mid-day. Twice in the 3 days she's been sleeping in her crib she has had a breakdown and all of them are in parking lot locations. Poor girl. But then she crashes and I mean CRASHES... in and out of the car seat, into the house and down into the crib without a peep!

Yesterday she took 3 naps in her crib each 30 minutes (the norm) and one 45 minute nap!! So hopefully she's getting comfortable in there. I did let her crash on mommy once yesterday and it too was only about 30 minutes.

She no longer freaks out when you put her in the crib, the timing doesn't have to be perfect anymore but close. For the most part she needs to be asleep, if you put her in awake then you get to wait about an hour before she needs a few pats on the bottom to put her out. Some times she does it all herself..its all in the timing or the mood I guess.

She now has a projection mobile with sounds and music that she can look up at. She loves it...the first night it was all to exciting so we went back to the seahorse. We keep a floor fan on in the room at all sleep times, the white noise is great for blocking out our noises, the tv (which is right under her bed), and the dogs. She has started to talk to us at the brink of sleepy time and you would think she was wide awake but its her way of winding down I guess.

Night time bed time has been extended to a bit later when she's really ready. She sleeps about 3 hours straight the first stretch and then goes to bed with me. Next week she will get put back down in the crib. I stay in the room with her per the method we have chosen. It is good for us and for her. She still has mommy right there to soothe her and help her feel more comfortable in her new environment so before she reaches the cry mode she is soothed and back to sleep. I have decided to try all new things during nap time and then ease them to night time sleep. She can handle changes during the day although she might not like them, but nighttime is too sensitive for ultra crankiness to try and introduce new things.

Her startle reflex is easing but I think it still keeps her from sleeping longer stretches. We got a woombie (thanks Melissa for sharing this product with us). Madison hates it, but I'm going to try a tip from Melissa and put it on her when she's already asleep. Not sure if this will work cause she wakes up so easily but I'll give it a try later today or this weekend and see. If not oh well she'll figure it out.

No matter the little obstacles we still have in this department I am so proud of our little girl. She has exceeded my expectations with taking to her crib naps and actually sleeping in it at night. I expected major drama and big tears but I have been pleasantly surprised. She is such a great baby and such a joy. We couldn't be luckier or more proud.

Crib Sleep first attempt

She lasted longer than expected...about an hour. :) She didn't wake up fussy but she broke the swaddle. About 15 minutes later she and I were trying to get her back to sleep but she just wanted to play again, at the risk of it taking another 1.5 hours. I picked her up and went to bed..she concked out for the rest of the night.

My goal was to see what happened, to see if she could actually just fall asleep on her own in her crib (on her own meaning not in our arms).

I was very happy and surprised even that the goal was met. YAY!

Here is proof.

Cribside Blog

I'm currently sitting cribside in the glider...minus a baby in my arms...cause she (drumroll please) is asleep in her crib!!!

I didn't actually think it would happen, but here I am watching my baby girl sleeping so peacefully in her crib.

It wasn't magic, but patience and patting.

She was doing her usual sleep signs and so upstairs we went. I fed her and when she was ALMOST asleep I put her in her crib. An like always..BAM! eyes open, huge smile! This is a norm for me when attempting to put her in her crib. So I decided to ride it out. She played and talked and sucked on her hands for 1.5 hours. I was about to give up and I noticed her "heavy eyes". So I inserted pacifier, held her punching arm and patted her bottom and away she went. This lasted 10 minutes, she self-soothed and went back to sleep only to wake up within minutes due to her startle reflex...so I swaddled, inserted pacifier and patted. She's OUT!

I'll be staying right here in the glider watching her sleep or gliding myself to sleep...whichever. I'm so thrilled right now I had to blog immediately from my phone so please disregard typos and run on sentences! This is a insta-blog from one HAPPY MOMMY!!

2011

My new years resolutions have always been a bit odd..like this year I will learn to ride a skateboard (2008), etc, etc. I try to do things I've never done OR come up with something that will actually last all year and is an improvement to my soul.

This year its one that seems simple, but challenges take place, stresses come about so my resolution this year is to Laugh abundantly, smile constantly and make so many new wrinkles that my anti-aging creams will become my best friend.

I want 2011 to be happy, joyous and full of CONTAGIOUS SMILES!!

Heres to a magical 2011!!!