WARNING! This will not be clever, funny or sweet. Just pouring out some thoughts.
Today we interviewed daycare facilities or "child care learning facilities". They weren't awful, they weren't great, they were ok. I liked one better than the other and luckily daddy got to see that one with us. Madison was great, she really had her game face on today. Smiles galore, stories were abundant and then she calmingly went to sleep on daddy while we were doing final discussions and just chatting about being pregnant, etc.
During the first facility I cried. During the second facility I wanted to just turn and walk away. This is all just a bit overwhelming. No one tells you about this drama you must endure at some point if you are going to be a working mom. No one tells you that you will feel like your soul is being pulled from your heart when thinking about someone else watching your child take their first step or sit up on their own unassisted and you missed it. UGH..I can't even type without tears. I think deplorable might be a good descriptive, cause it is unfortunate.
Talking with girlfriends just makes it that much more evident that tears will be abundant and I will "LOSE IT FOR WEEKS." Awesome!
One girlfriend walked in, lost it and her husband said...we will just eat bologna its ok. haha!
The other decided to go back to grad school onlineat night just to keep from having to put her child in day care. Too funny! Well atleast she is knocking out two birds with one stone.
I guess I feel now what Jeff might feel later (when boys are coming around). That no one is good enough for my daughter. That no one can possibly care for her as much as I do and that my world will collapse if anything should happen to her in someone elses care.
I've cried, stressed, felt nauseated and gross all day. If Jeff hadn't of shown up at Tutor Time today I think I might have never made through the front doors. I have never been more uncomfortable in my life. It was a VERY tough day for this momma.
Cheers to more of those kind of days coming our way. :(
Look at church daycare/preschool facilities. That's what we are doing. Having caretakers with Christian morals and values might put you at peace. ;)
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