Monday, May 10, 2010

All the grains of sand in the world....

When I was 3 or 4 and my mom was giving me a bath I said to her "I love you!" and she said "How much" after minutes of pondering I said "I love you all the grains of sand in the world!"

My mom told me this story when I was older and it stuck from then on. This became a saying that was written on every card, sometimes it would be the only thing I would write in a letter to her from college and the last thing I whispered in her ear the moment she died as well as my last words to her when we buried her and everytime I have the opportunity to visit her grave.

This is a saying I will say to my little Madison in hopes it becomes something special to her as well.

Mothers Day's have always been hit or miss for me emotionally....some are very easy some are very hard and some are middle of the road. Yesterday was somewhere from easy to middle of the road. I wish that she was here to share her wisdom, her smile and her never ending, always emitted positive energy and vibe with our much bigger family here in California and our little Madison Olivia when she says embraces us in her heart on the day she is born.

My mother passed of lung cancer the semester I was graduating college, just after her birthday in February. Its incomprehensable to fathom how something so small, a cigarette or second hand smoke, can take away something so amazing and beautiful as fast as it can. Not even all the grains of sand in the world can put up a fight!

Sissy aka Olivia Diane - I will always love you all the grains of sand in the world and I miss you terribly at this time in my life!!! Your forever grateful little girl - Jamie

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