Celebrate me home!

Today I attended my dear friend and coworkers husbands funeral. Dottie had been married to Jim for 39 wonderful years. There are moments and people in your life that you meet that completely change something inside of you. Today Dottie did that for me. Dottie has always been the warmest, kindest most welcoming person I've ever met. Over the past few months I've grown to know Dottie as a strong believer in God and an incredibly strong human being. Today that strength was shown in a way I can barely comprehend. See the last funeral I attended was that of my mom aka Sissy. I had to be "strong" for my grandma and my dad because I had always heard..."the hardest thing to lose is a spouse or a child." So after being as strong as possible for the both of them I was completely drained, I collapsed walking out of the funeral home, I couldn't even walk. I had nothing left for anyone else not even God or myself, so instead of embracing him and my faith I turned away from it only to find darkness and anger. Until recent years I never even went back to church. That changed 5 years ago when a friend at my old job invited me, to this day Im not sure Andrea knows how much of an impact that had on my life. Within months my now husband found me again and the rest is history. But today, today I found in Dottie something I've never known or even witnessed before. Dottie was a pillar of strength that had a solid foundation of faith and God. Of course Dottie was heartbroken and devastated but her ability to hand it over to God knowing that he had Jimmy and Jimmy was at peace with The Lord in paradise made me simply awestruck. She was doing to all what she has always done..she was warm and welcoming, grateful to us for being there and she was cracking jokes, smiling, and embracing everyone around her. Today Dottie's love for Jimmy and their ability to put Christ first in their home before all else wasn't just words it was alive. You could feel it in you, it shook you at your core. That is what faith is, that is what giving it all to The Lord is, that is what I hear people say they do....I have never actually met someone that emitted it, that wrapped you in it with them, that whole heartedly loved and breathed it. In our toughest times it's hard to show strength in faith, to let go and let god...today I witnessed that in its purest form and my soul is rattled/shaken up...shocked. Dottie said today "God is in business" and he certainly is. Today Dottie changed my life in profound way one that will help me on my path to truly letting go and letting god. This song we sang today (read below) puts it all in focus. Thank you Jimmy, Thank you Dottie. And to Sissy...I still miss you more than all the grains of sand in the world but I will work harder at celebrating you home! When the time comes and I am standing at the river That separates the two worlds that I love, Torn between my precious friends and my family and the place of peace that’s waiting up above, Hold my hand and stay there by my side. And when I finally step into the tide, Celebrate me home! Celebrate me there. Celebrate me in that land of wonder where nothing can compare. Celebrate me in that place Celebrate me saved by grace Don’t just sit and weep because I’m gone Celebrate me Home. I have spent most of my life on earth preparing To take the trip from here to Heaven’s throne. With the Shield and Word of God to guide me Its a comfort knowing I am not alone. So when I take my final fleeting breath and fade into the gentle sleep of death, Celebrate me home! Celebrate me there. Celebrate me in that land of wonder where nothing can compare. Celebrate me in that place Celebrate me saved by grace Don’t just sit and weep because I’m gone Celebrate me Home. No more broken dreams No more tears to cry Into my Father’s arms I’ll fly. Celebrate me home! Celebrate me there. Celebrate me in that land of wonder where nothing can compare. Celebrate me in that place Celebrate me saved by grace Don’t just sit and weep because I’m gone Celebrate me Home. Celebrate me Home!

A bath with mommy

One day while enjoying a nightly bath, a mom says to her daughter "I love you."  And the daughter, about three years old, replies "I love you too."  The mom says "How much?"  The daughter takes a few moments to think and says "I love you all the grains of sand in the world."

This phrase became one that would become treasured by the mom.  The daughter would write it on Mother's Day cards, Birthday cards, Christmas cards,etc.  This phrase was special to them both but more special to the mom, at least for the most part.

Then one day the girl, now all grown up, had to write these words she had written most of her life... the simple act would shake her to the core.  It took her about 30 minutes but she finally got it written out completely.  The words "I love you all the grains of sand in the world" was all she needed on the card on the flowers at her moms funeral.  Simple yet so very powerful and meaningful.

Even to this day when I close my eyes and say those words chills shoot through my body.  I'm that little girl that had to think so hard to find a way to describe my love for my mom through words.  Now those words mean so very much to me that to find a way to describe that emotion and connection.....well that would probably take another bath with mommy.

Shackles and chains

Feeling trapped is something that completely defies all we know as Americans. Freedom to choose, move, change, make a difference, etc.

But somehow so many issues people face in their lives are due to feeling trapped.  Somedays I feel trapped.  But we all have the ability to break free of our shackles and chains and make a change.  We just have to step out of that confinement, look toward the future, envision the goal or light at the end and start taking steps towards it.  It could take a long time or it could be quick.  Whatever makes you feel trapped, embrace it, map out your change, and do it!

I will be working on mine!

There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires. - Nelson Mandela

A few too many

There are many times in life we can all say we have had a few to many.

A few too many drinks, dates with the wrong person, splurges and regrets.

But there are things we all do in obsession maybe even without realizing it.  Just one more cookie.  Maybe one more little white lie, if no one knows then is it really lying.  One more diet pill.  One more  one more one more.

Now sometimes this is good.  One more mile, one more set, one more crunch.  One more kiss, hug, thank you and I love you.

But anytime one more crosses the line to obsession it's no longer healthy.  We all know The big bad no-no's: Drugs, Alcohol, Porn, Gambling, Lying, Food and Cheating

The thing that made me think hard in church today was the little things we don't think about.  Smartphones, computers, work, co-dependency, sports, credit cards, control.

I've had my fair share of obsessions in my life at some point or another:
Alcohol.  Even though I would not drink for months at a time just so I knew I was in control I still drank a lot when I did.
Working Out.  That came first before anything else for a long time in my life.
Work.  Work-a-holic I was.  Til about 2004.  No more.
Football/fantasy football- reading, memorizing stats, studying, watching, trading, etc.  I mean during football season this was all I did after my workout and with or without a beer or 6.  This year goes to show that is no longer the case.  Some weeks I completely forgot about the sport.


Most of my vices these days are small, simple, and easily fixed.
Coca cola (gotta kick it)
iPhone (maybe Ill give my phone up a few hours a day or even 1 day a week.)

Others not as easily fixed...
Control.  I used to be a control freak too.  Not really that much anymore unless I get fixated on controlling something.  Now I try to just take action and whether or not I end up being in control doesn't matter.  I am however guilty of being a control freak when I do take control.  For the most part in my old age I don't care enough to be a "freak" about anything.
Temper.  Most days my temper is as calm and cool as a summer breeze.  BUT and I mean BUT there ARE days where my calmness and ability to brush things off disappears and my temper shows.  I do not like this but my temper isn't somethng that grinds away at me daily.  It does come and go every once in a while.

There is one BIG one that I focus on and that is because of my kids.  Lying.  My dad made it very clear that lying was NOT ok and I am an "honest to a fault" kind of person because of him.  Yes Ive lied, yes I've fibbed and no there is not a difference between those two.  I'm terrible at lying.  I hope that I can show Madison and Deacon what living in an honest household is like.  That way they are not comfortable with lying or fibbing and grow up being honest kids too.  People argue all the time by saying "its just a little white lie" or "what they don't know won't hurt them"....whichever way you cut the lie its still a lie.  I lose sleep at night if I've lied and I know WAY too many people that don't.  Its sad that we talk about couples that lie to one another in church.  The little stuff too.  If you lie about stupid stuff that has no purpose you will likely lie about the big stuff that hurts.  Have I done it, yes.  Do I regret it, yes.  All in all I can't thank my dad enough for teaching me how important it is to be truthful.

As I move forward in my improvements in my life I will be trying to improve the bad habits and reduce the "few too many" items.


I'll continue to work on my issues and hopefully I can improve myself.

In a nutshell and a tree root

New Years resolution time!!!

"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats.  I don't intend to waste any of mine." - Neil Armstrong.

My resolution in a nutshell:
 I will not waste any heartbeats this year, strive to work as hard on everything in my life as my heart does pumping that life through me.

My resolution in a tree root (long version):
Be more organized so I can be more efficient
Be more dedicated to work while at work, home while at home, the gym while at the gym, etc
Healthier (we all want to be healthier right)
Launch my business and give it my all too
Be more understanding and compassionate with the kids
Be stronger
Have fun
Give more
Love more
Inspire and be inspired

Happy New Year!!

Catching up

Holy WOW!!

Being home alone with a newborn and a two year old gives one ZERO time to do anything and once the day is over you are so completely emotionally and mentally drained you can't get anything done then either.

So I am way behind on updates for Madison and Deacon.

Ok.  Madison is capable of full conversations with us now.  It's so cool.  Even her thought processes make so much sense.  It's pretty impressive.  Her terrible twos are still here but getting better for the most part.  Can't wait til we are over these.

Some funny things lately:
Copying mommy and daddy by doing everything we do with Deacon to her babies.  New diapers, bouncing, patting, burping, singing, shhhhing.  It's so cute.

When you say "Madison you are so smart and so pretty."  She in turn says "and sooooo funny."  I love it!

She had us all speechless from laughter the day she told us "hold on I'm pumping" while holding up a stacking cup to her chest.  HILARIOUS!!!

Playing in her car one day she kept repeatedly getting out saying to her baby "Hold on, I forgot it." Yeah mommy does this at least once if not 3-4 times trying to get out the door once everyone is loaded in the car.

She said to me "Mommy be patient and you'll get it."  I thought I was gonna pee my pants from laughing so hard.

We have been doing gymnastics, dance and fun outings.  Her first dance recital is dec 15.  Excited!!!

Deacon is super chill and super go with the flow.  I guess we haven't given him much choice though.

I describe Madison as hungry as a baby and toddler.  She is hungry for learning, for knowing, she asks lots of questions and wants to know everything about everything.  Deacon is my "life is good" baby.  He is just relaxed and happy.  This kid smiles with his whole head and has the cutest "aw shucks" giggle and shyness about him.

Im just super blessed to have two of the best kids around.  Madison has the best laugh, she's so smart, so sweet and funny and full of life. I love learning through her.  Deacon is simply adorable, cuddly and heartwarming.

Madison is 27 months now and about 32lbs
Deacon is 3.5 months and about 17ish lbs.

Love my babies.

Calendar for caring and a pocket full of change

I have committed myself to doing some random acts of kindness as well as some direct giving next year.  I have started already, very small but it's what I can do.  I do not have extra money, I am not caught up on bills or debts, I am not flowing in funds but I do have an overflowing heart.  One that wants to give more than I could ever do on my own.

My random acts of kindness are simple, small, smile bringers.  And I am trying to share this with as many people as I can.  This is not my mission but one of a community of friends that are pushing each other to be givers randomly all year.

Giving:
time
money
love
Or all the above.

Here are a few small random acts to share:
Buying the car behind you's order at any given place (mine seems to be Starbucks)
One day I bought cookies and asked the guy at the window to hand them out to each car with their order until he ran out
Buying a newspaper from a homeless person for $20
Giving gift cards or $$ to school crossing guards that keep your kids safe
Extra tips to waiters
If you can do more then some people pay off layaways or use $100's vs $10's or $20's
We also, with our church life group, adopted a teenager in need.

I hope my small random acts make other people do the same or maybe even more.  I started now vs next year because caring has no calendar, being in need has no date, hunger doesn't have a clock.  I do not wonder when I will eat even though my budget states I'm broke, I do not question where I will sleep or how I will get from point A to B.  I do have change laying around in my car, in a drawer, in my pocket.  So I'll take my pocket of change and make other people smile while I can

Blanket of warmth and comfort

There are certain sounds that we love, hate or are simply accustomed to.

I love the sound of the ocean it brings me peace.

I love the sound of hearing a bear run through the woods it brings me youthful curiosity.

I love the sound of crickets and frogs chirping and croaking at night in the south it brings me comfort of being home.

I hate the sound of people chomping and smacking food or gum it makes me want to crawl out of my own skin.

I hate the sound of people eating their own silverware or stabbing their salad as if it needs killing it makes me squirm.

The words love and hate are strong emotional words.

There are two sounds that surpass the word love they make your soul light up and wrap you in a blanket of warmth making you more comfortable than you have ever been.

The sound of hearing your babies heartbeat in utero is one of those sounds.

The other sound is hearing your babies first cry at birth.  I remember with Madison it was that cry that reached into my soul and made my heart immediately double in size. It filled me with an emotion I never understood, because words can not describe.  My mommy friends just used to say you'll see when you have kids and they were so very right. With Deacon the sound was as powerful as it was with Madison that I immediately cried tears of joy while giggling.  I honestly don't know how my heart still fits inside my chest but I do know that my soul will always remember the blanket of comfort and warmth that my babies, only seconds old, wrapped me in.

Happy 2nd Birthday Madison

Wow!! We made it to 2!! It has been the most memorable, laughable, entertaining, lesson learning, patience building 2 years I've ever lived and I can not wait for more. At 2 years Madison keeps us rolling in laughter with her constant singing, dancing, impeccable communication, and silliness. We find that we have new favorites from her almost daily as she learns so quickly that new comes very often in our house. Madison sings the cutest songs including Hokey Pokey, Twinkle Star, Rock a bye baby, Ring around the Rosie, The alphabet song, head shoulders knees and toes, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Itsy Bitsy Spider, 1-2 Buckle my shoe, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse intro song, Happy Birthday and I'm sure as soon as I post this I'll remember a few more. She picks up the songs so quickly and clearly it's absolutely adorable!!! In addition to being a music magnet Madison is also enrolled in Ballet/Tap and gymnastics. She loves them both! Madison repeats things with precision and has also started changing her tenses, example..."Madison woke up and Daddy wake up." She knows here vs there. She says things like "Mommy come over here or Zeus go over there." Big vs Small. Cold vs Hot vs Warm. Empty vs Full. Old vs New (with some things). Madison still attends Town and Country Farm School and loves it. This summer they did swim time twice a week and Madison got to plant things in the garden. We actually have tomatoes from her school that she was busy gardening all summer long. She has lots of friends at school and tells us all about them all the time. As a family we have done a ton of outdoor time, park time, swimming time and "busy bee" time this summer. Madison absolutely LOVES being outside and gets cabin fever very quickly. It was a terribly hot summer but we did it with a smile just to see her exploring and doing. Popsicles are the name of the game here, she loves them loves them and has only turned one down one time and that was for more broccoli. Haha!! As for "real" food, M doesn't eat a whole lot but she eats good her favorites are broccoli, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, apples, olives, eggs, peaches, yogurt and pasta. She likes Pirates booty and I only mention this because to hear her say "Mommy can I have some booty?" is just hilarious! We have our bouts with the terrible two's but know it will pass and know its going to continue for a little while. It is what it is but our patience will reign victor in the end and we will all survive. At 2 Madison is now a big sister to her baby brother Deacon and she loves him so very much. She ran over from the kitchen on her way to school one morning, kissed his sweet head and said I love You! A sweet moment I love to replay in my head. Madison also bows her head for prayer, says Amen and I love you Jesus! The past 2 years have flown by, each day piling memory after memory into our hearts and minds, I just hope god knew what he was doing and we don't reach capacity cause it's all just too sweet and too wonderful not to hold on to forever. Happy 2nd Birthday sweetie!! Love you all the grains of sand in the world!

Deacon Joseph

We are approaching that magical moment when we get to meet our lil baby boy. The past months have been very different from the ones in which I carried Madison but a healthy baby as the end result is all anyone could ever hope for. In carrying this lil boy I have had heartburn, heart smiles, leg cramps, charlie horses by the dozens, nearly nightly leg rubs, massages, aches n pains, the disappearing belly button, stress, happiness, the thrill and pain of a good kick in the ribs or punch in the bladder, my left hip has moved out of place and is grinding ever so unpleasantly, swollen feet and ankles, extra rest with my feet up, bedrest, nausea, no carb dieting, gaining weight and losing weight, overheating/passing out, rushed home from church twice from overheating, did I say heartburn, smiles from Madison kissing my belly, saying Hi brother, making sure her brother gets a sticker at pick up from school, weakness and shortness of breath doing everything, no sleep, naps, a new found love for a pet peeve of mine...chewing ice as it's the only thing that will keep me cool enough, financial stress, the joy of a countdown to my last day of work, hitting my belly with doors all over the place cause I no longer fit, doing a very unique exit strategy to get out of our 1/2 bathroom, forgetting everything, losing things, nesting like crazy, project to do list longer than any Christmas list I've ever created, sweet tears imagining holding him and nursing him, photo madness, no sleep, heartburn, no sleep, heartburn, a new great love for tums and Tylenol, nausea, laughs about being so big, racing hubby to the car after hospital tour and not being the rotten egg AGAIN!, working from home with iPad on bed while sitting on a big yoga/workout ball cause chairs hurt, cartwheels for fun, and last but not least I've officially crowned myself the largest pregnant belly in the Santa Clarita Valley!!!

The power of song

M is singing with clarity the following: twinkle twinkle little star, the alphabet song, whole wide world (he's got the whole world in his hands), itsy bitsy spider, old macdonald, ring around the rosy, 1..2 buckle my shoe, Mickey mouse clubhouse (spelling of his name part), and wheels on the bus. ADORABLE!

WHAT?

If there is one thing (of many) that bugs me more than anything and always has is when kids are talking/asking/engaging with their parents and they hear "WHAT?". My goodness there is nothing positive about that. It doesn't stimulate, encourage a response, or teach proper communicating skills. How many of us says "What?" to each other unless irritated. You wouldn't say to your friend or co-worker or boss simply "What?" when they called to speak to you or tried to get your attention. You would say things like "what can I do?", "how can I help?", "what do you need?" etc etc M definitely likes to repeat your name and we gladly say her name back or simply ask questions in sentence form back to her so she learns communication skills. I've been out and about recently and have heard moms and dads in all different settings saying "What" in that tone...you know the irritated, your not as important as what I'm doing right now tone. It's just something I think should be part of the "How not to talk to your toddler book.". The look in the kids eyes is so disheartening. I thank my mom for this as she was the one always telling me to stop saying "What" to her when she called for me. She said I sounded ignorant and she wouldn't have it. She said you answer me with a full sentence and with respect. I learned from friends and I know M will go through a rude "What" phase but hopefully it will be short lived like mine was and we are laying ground work for her to not be a "What" mom or kid and keep positive communication a continuous part of her learning.

Singer songwriter

Madison is starting to sing songs and it's adorable! Some of her favorites include Rock a bye baby, Twinkle twinkle little star, itsy bitty spider and ring around the rosy. She even songwrites and throws in a remix to include "I love you daddy" or "I do daddy" so cute I have a small set of video clips but haven't been lucky enough to get it all. I'll keep trying.

Glowing Soul

I never knew that my soul could glow so vibrantly that I could actually feel it shine. Hearing M say "Daddy/Mommy I DO!" was so sweet, so adorable, so heart touching. But to hear my baby girl say "I love you Daddy" and "I love you Mommy". Boy that's like being served up a slice of sunshine by the hand of god himself just to show you what it's all about and what having your soul glow like the sun truly feels like. Nothing beats that.

8 hours

I posted previously that M sang her alphabet to letter i and then mouthed the rest. Well she went to bed, woke up and sang the ENTIRE thing! It's amazing what can happen during this stage of development in just 8 short hours!

20 months and counting

My goodness time is flying. I've been doing a good job of capturing video and photos but not a lot of blogging. Here are a few of M's (and our) new favorite things/sayings etc. Airplanes and Helicopters..the girl can hear them long before we can. Impressive! Big and little...she loves telling you what is big vs what is little. Big rock, big truck, little rock, little truck. I love you daddy/mommy...this is my favorite! Madison bless you..after you sneeze Your welcome..she's says thank you and sometimes your welcome Feeding the dogs, throwing the ball for the dogs, snacking on dog food, telling on the dogs, cuddling with the dogs What's that. Followed by repeating what you say Singing: twinkle twinkle little star, rock a bye baby, Counting 1 to 10 Singing Abc's all the way I and if you sing the rest in front of her she mouths the rest of it She sings some of 1,2 buckle my shoe etc... Coloring crazy Hanging! Literally hanging... She hangs from our table and picks her feet up like a gymnast. Or if at the park she hangs from anything she can. Super upper body strength Swimming..my goodness she is a fish. Her new floaty is awesome. She sees it and says "I put it on." "I go in the pool". She is so comfortable in the water it's borderline scary for me. ;) She says I'm Sorry if she hurts you..either by accident or on purpose (when she is frustrated). She says "I like it" for things she likes. She knows all her friends names, she tells you what she wants to eat, she knows so many animals and sounds, she knows red, black, grey, green, blue, yellow, pink. She is starting to want to potty train and school and us are doing all we can to support and help the process. It's cute. She likes her food whole and still loves her bottle. This is not a fight we are gonna take on just yet, but will. Outside!!!! She loves outside, she gets cabin fever super easy. She makes sure we all have shoes, and then we can go outside. She would play outside all day if we could. The southern tomboy in me smiles every time she throws a rock or plays in the dirt. An amazing 20 months!!!!

Carter

I just had to take a moment and share a moment that made my heart smile yesterday. Reminded me of how very different each coast is in the way people care or share or make you feel. Yesterday on facebook I said to my friend Stephanie, that I used to work out with under the amazing trainer Mr. Carter Hays, "I MISS THOSE DAYS!!, hope to be back soon and hopefully I can lose baby weight Carter Hays style." This within seconds prompted a response from Carter, "Jamie, Can't wait to see you again. Miss you!!" My heart smiled because after years of being gone even my old trainer misses me and looks forward to seeing me again, whenever that day may be. This may not be odd to some people. But do you think my trainer here has contacted me even once after I stopped paying? Nope. We say hi in passing at the club and move on. He's a great trainer and a great guy but he's not invested in you past your fitness goals or past your paid training sessions. Carter is invested in you completely. Your fitness, your health, your goals, your life, etc. He supports and motivates (inside and outside of the gym) and he continues to always make you strive to be better. Even after I moved out here he sent me workouts for months so that I could continue the regimen I had become accustomed too. Most of the gyms out here are not supportive (without payment), the feeling of everyone is here to help everyone get fit and feel better does not exist, I'm sure there are small groups of folks that motivate but in the south no matter which gym you are at you make gym acquaintances, you get support and you are held accountable. If you missed a regular workout day the folks at the gym made note of it, they asked where have you been, why did you miss your workout, etc. With a group training or even a trainer they are always on you supporting you and your goals so when you get lazy or try to depart from the goal you have set they keep you in check, they hold you accountable and in the end everyone improves. We all want to be held accountable and our fitness is somewhere we all need to be held accountable. I miss that dearly. I could miss 2 months at any gym I've been at out here without one inquiry of where I've been or whats going on. No wonder I'm bigger (besides the pregnancy), no wonder I run less, no wonder. Discover Your Road to Divine Health is Carters book..you can buy it on Amazon. I hope that I get to train with him again one day. Thanks Carter for the smile!

Blessings in disguise

This pregnancy has been nothing short of difficult, thankfully all the things happening aren't affecting baby Deacon's health as he is a very healthy lil man thus far.

But mommy is going through all the pain and discomfort she went through the last 4 weeks with M and has much more time to go than 4 weeks. Jeff and I are worried that bedrest may come with this pregnancy but I'm fighting through day by day in hopes that doesn't happen, for multiple reasons.

I have found one simple cure to the Pubic diastasis symphysis pain that is occuring in extremes (think, being kicked in the crotch with a steel toe boot, repeatedly) and about 15 weeks early seems to be a dip in the pool. I'm still in pain after my dip yesterday with the family but not nearly as much as before.

In addition to the PDS pain the belly stretching and itchy feeling has also started WAY early. I officially waddle, have trouble with my feet swelling at the end of the day and lose sleep constantly from pain.

But I also lose sleep because Deacon likes to tell mommy Hi in the middle of the night, my belly itches because my lil man is stretching his arms and legs and growing big and strong, my feet swell because I'm carrying a sweet baby around with me everyday, my pds is painful because my body is getting ready to deliver my sweet little blessing in disguise.

Blessings come in all sorts of disguises. Deacon's is that of a sweet lil man growing strong for his mommy and daddy and I am thankful (although not always) that I get to help make Deacon as strong and as healthy as possible. What a sweet little blessing.

Sometimes we forget

Jeff and I are lucky that at 1.5 M is a talking queen. She talks more than most of her 2 and even 2.5 year old pals. Her vocabulary is well over 100 words and she uses sentences for the most part. She impresses many folks especially those with kids her age or older. I guess we are lucky as the terrible two's aren't so terrible with a kid that can express what she wants, needs and likes. It has its challenges too as she knows exactly what she wants and THAT IS WHAT SHE WANTS...she can also be distracted a little but she is a spitting image of her momma when it comes to knowing what she wants and getting what she wants. Just not sure momma is ready for that yet.

The point of this blog wasn't to share all M's cute little sayings or doings. But to reflect on something that happened around 1230am the other night. M was on the tale end of her cold so daddy was sleeping in recliner with her because every 3rd or 4th breathe she took she would wake up if laying down because of the congestion (we had been taking turns with her in recliner so we all got decent sleep). Well at 1230 she woke up UNHAPPY, she was crying, and talking kind of, but being a baby she was just unhappy and needed comforting, singing, etc. Well at one point when she was talking a little it was unclear what she was wanting so daddy kept saying, "Madison, I can't understand what your saying." "What do you want?" As she settled and I went back upstairs to bed it made me smile and remember that first year of crying and the only cure was trial and error to figure out what it was she needed. We have gotten so spoiled with her telling us what she wants or needs that we sometimes forget during these moments that she is only 1.5 years old, she is still a "baby" and she still just needs us to figure it out sometimes.

I'm so proud of my lil M and her development advances so early, it truly makes a difference (most of the time) in getting her what she needs or wants. But at the same time these moments provide great memories of what we do as parents for our children from day one when their ability to express themselves is only to cry or coo and caw.

Sometimes we forget but sometimes we also need to be reminded of how it was so we can be so grateful for what have.

where ARE YOU?

M is so darn cute

Her new cute saying (stemmed from months of hide n seek) she now says:

" X, ARE YOU!"

X = any name and she sort of skips the word where and is very loud with her ARE YOU

That and her always asking "Where did X go?" Its adorable. She gets a very serious face and its adorable.

We have video and its wonderful that technology allows to keep these moments forever and share often. I will add video soon, just haven't downloaded to my computer yet.